The Holidays Are Over…Happy Now?

The Holidays are Over… Happy Now?

By Chris Gay

You hear it every year. It’s tedious, and as predictable as Punxsutawney Phil on February 3rd. What is it, you ask? Why, the incessant complaining about the holiday season, of course. You know who they are; those people who whine about Christmas display racks in September, cornucopias in October, Christmas songs in November and year ’round icicle lights.

All right, fine. So now it’s January and you’ve got your wish. You’ve made the noble sacrifice of enduring two turkey dinners in five weeks, while being forced to drive past festive, brightly colored decorations illuminating the freshly fallen snow. Too, you’ve survived the horrifying experience of spending perhaps ten total hours over two months with those people from whose gene pool you sprang. Now, you’re right where you want to be-the majestic wonderland known as January, February and March. This is the endearing part of the year that you’ve been dying to get through to, right? So…here it is! Enjoy.

Now that you’ve suffered through a 4th quarter where you were made to tolerate an endless procession of good food, good friends, family, goodwill, spirited music, TV specials, kindness, and charity, you’ve finally reached your reward: three bitterly cold months with a few beers on St. Patrick’s Day to look forward to. Congratulations.

On the other hand maybe-just maybe- you might try looking at the holidays from a different angle. Is it that much of a chore to visit relatives; even the crazy ones? We work our boring jobs, play our unending video games, and listen to our jam-packed iPods for days on end. However if we spend two days out of 365 eating Aunt Mary’s Death by Chocolate, for some reason our world may come to an end. If you’re lucky, real lucky, you’ll get 80 Christmas seasons on this Earth. If you’re reading this now, you’re probably down to less than 50. Next year, try sitting back and taking it all in, and truly see the season for what it is.

God. The Devil. The Bet. The Fate of Mankind in the Balance. Check out Chris Gay’s new theological, paranormal crime thriller, Ghost of a Chance.

What if a late 20th Century Jack the Ripper tearing apart a small Connecticut town was the result of a pancake shop bet between God and the devil? Imagine if Satan’s impact on the world in the new millennium hinged entirely on one police officer’s skill in hunting down a ruthless killer…hiding in plain sight. Detective Danny Seabrook is an unwitting pawn in a divine chess match with immeasurable consequences for all mankind. Set primarily in 1995, this action-packed suspense thriller features clever dialogue, humor and romance-with an ending you will never forget.

*     *     *     *

‘Sherlock Holmes and the Final Reveal’ by Chris Gay

As the end draws near for long-retired Sherlock Holmes in Sussex Downs, he calls one last time for the company of his best friend and colleague, Dr. John Watson. What was meant to be four last days of camaraderie and reminiscing instead leads to the most shocking, explosive revelation both of the great detective’s career, and his life.

Sherlock Holmes and the Final Reveal is a Holmes tale like none other ever conceived. Fans of Baker Street’s legendary detective will be left with the insatiable need to contemplate its extraordinary conclusion forevermore.

*     *     *     *

‘The Bachelor Cookbook: Edible Meals with a Side of Sarcasm’ by Chris Gay

The Bachelor Cookbook is the perfect (and likely only) addition to any guy’s collection of sarcastic culinary literature. If you’re between relationships and looking to make the most of whatever foodstuffs you’ve got until you meet that next special woman, then your prayers have been answered. Unless you’re an atheist; in which case coming across this book just means your luck was in today. For men looking for sustenance over style, I give you this spectacular cookbook. Well, I don’t “give it” to you, per se. You have to pay for it.

Featuring such taste-bud tempting recipes as:

Popcorn Salad

Meat on a Bed of Rice

Cheese and Crackers

Spaghetti Sandwich

Plus Miscellaneous Cookbook Humor, too!

*     *     *     *

Chris Gay is an author, freelance writer, voice-over artist, broadcaster and actor. He writes and broadcasts a daily, minute radio humor spot in Hartford, Connecticut. He’s also written the paranormal, theological thriller novel Ghost of a Chance, the novella Sherlock Holmes and the Final Reveal, (an original, extraordinary short story on the great detective) and three humor books: And That’s the Way It Was…Give or Take: A Daily Dose of My Radio Writings, Shouldn’t Ice Cold Beer Be Frozen? My 365 Random Thoughts to Improve Your Life Not One Iota, and The Bachelor Cookbook: Edible Meals with a Side of Sarcasm. He’s been published nationally in Writer’s Digest and is currently writing his fourth & fifth humor books, Another Round of Ice Cold Beer: My 365 More Random Thoughts to Improve Your Life Not One Iota,  Something Witty this Way Comes .

Also, he’s writing the Ghost of a Chance sequel Perdition’s Wrath, and has written and voiced radio commercials, authored both comedic and non-comedic freelance articles, scripts, press releases, website, media and technical content, done occasional radio color commentary for local sports, and acted in a couple of movies and plays. His website is chrisjgay.com, and his humor blog can be found at chrisgay.wordpress.com.

 

Facebook

Twitter: @chrisgay13

Chrisjgay.com

Movies:

2012: Hope Springs (Barfly)

2009: Testimonies of a Quiet New England Town (Constable John Gilbert)