Aquarius (January 20-February 18)
By Chris Gay
You get some points for being cool, if only because no other Zodiac sign has a groovy hit song written about it. You feel a misplaced air of superiority due to this, but remember-aside from Super Bowl Sunday- your sign falls into quite possibly the dullest, dreariest section of the year. This alone could speak volumes about your personality; that is, if there was any genuine validity to horoscopes whatsoever. Since there isn’t, you’ve lucked out. Unless of course you’re genetically predisposed to being a dull, dreary person. If that happens to be the case, you’ll probably need more advice than you’ll get from a sarcastic fake horoscope, anyway. Pisces plays role.
February Birthstone Rating-Amethyst: 9
The near-jackpot birthstone. If you have ever been lucky enough to date a woman born in February, you know that the Amethyst, which is essentially purple Quartz, is very easy on the pocketbook. That can be helpful during the month that includes Valentine’s Day.
God. The Devil. The Bet. The Fate of Mankind in the Balance. Check out my new theological, paranormal crime thriller, Ghost of a Chance.
What if a late 20th Century Jack the Ripper tearing apart a small Connecticut town was the result of a pancake shop bet between God and the devil? Imagine if Satan’s impact on the world in the new millennium hinged entirely on one police officer’s skill in hunting down a ruthless killer…hiding in plain sight. Detective Danny Seabrook is an unwitting pawn in a divine chess match with immeasurable consequences for all mankind. Set primarily in 1995, this action-packed suspense thriller features clever dialogue, humor and romance-with an ending you will never forget.
Chris Gay is an author, freelance writer, voice-over artist, broadcaster and actor. He writes and broadcasts a daily, sponsored minute radio humor spot in Hartford, Connecticut. He’s written three humor books: Shouldn’t Ice Cold Beer Be Frozen? My 365 Random Thoughts to Improve Your Life Not One Iota, And That’s the Way It Was…Give or Take: A Daily Dose of My Radio Writings, and The Bachelor Cookbook: Recipes with a Side of Sarcasm for the Single Guy. He’s currently writing his fourth humor book, Another Round of Ice Cold Beer: My 365 More Random Thoughts to Improve Your Life Not One Iota, along with the Ghost of a Chance sequel Perdition’s Wrath. He has written and voiced radio commercials, authored both comedic and non-comedic freelance articles, scripts, press releases, website, media and technical content, done occasional radio color commentary for local sports, and acted in a couple of movies and plays. He lives in Connecticut.
Hope Springs (Barfly)